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Forcing Oneself to Relax at the Wrong Time
Jun. 9th, 2006 11:48 amWell, here I am at my 20th prep school reunion. At a time when I have a show opening in a week and a day that needs immense amounts of work.
I spent most of last night in a panic about the show, angry at myself for being here when I should be working. My reunions every five years are a given for me -- the Northfield Mount Hermon School was a huge and positive influence in my life, and everything good about myself and my life as it is now is a direct result of my time here -- but, still . . . I have a show opening in eight days that needs me.
Well, that was last night. This morning I'm forcing myself to enjoy myself. Having internet access again relaxes me (for a good deal of last night, it seemed that it might be an impossibility to get online while here). I know the actors can get a hold of me if they need to. I attended a couple of talks this morning, about the school, its future, and its architecture, that were enjoyable and informative, more of my classmates are showing up so I have people I can really talk to, and it looks to be a fun weekend.
Then I will come back to Brooklyn on Sunday and start screaming. Long and loud.
Well, the individual meetings with the actors that I had last week were all positive and good for the show, and I had productive rehearsals for two of the musical numbers on Wednesday night. But much much more to do.
What I have to remind myself and fall back on is the fact that the actors are great, the script is pretty damned good I think, and whatever we are able to put on stage on June 17 will be excellent and worthwhile. Whatever. We have enough now to be more than fine as it is.
But. I want to be amazing.
This show deserves to be amazing. I may not have the money to make it amazing. I need to rent lots of rehearsal space this week to work the show enough to be amazing. I don't know how I will afford that. I will find a way to afford it. I still need to stage 6 dance numbers on Monday and Tuesday. I'll get them done.
Okay, time for cafeteria lunch. The food is pretty damn good here, for all that. Lucky kids. Maybe more reports from the Connecticut Valley later . . .
I spent most of last night in a panic about the show, angry at myself for being here when I should be working. My reunions every five years are a given for me -- the Northfield Mount Hermon School was a huge and positive influence in my life, and everything good about myself and my life as it is now is a direct result of my time here -- but, still . . . I have a show opening in eight days that needs me.
Well, that was last night. This morning I'm forcing myself to enjoy myself. Having internet access again relaxes me (for a good deal of last night, it seemed that it might be an impossibility to get online while here). I know the actors can get a hold of me if they need to. I attended a couple of talks this morning, about the school, its future, and its architecture, that were enjoyable and informative, more of my classmates are showing up so I have people I can really talk to, and it looks to be a fun weekend.
Then I will come back to Brooklyn on Sunday and start screaming. Long and loud.
Well, the individual meetings with the actors that I had last week were all positive and good for the show, and I had productive rehearsals for two of the musical numbers on Wednesday night. But much much more to do.
What I have to remind myself and fall back on is the fact that the actors are great, the script is pretty damned good I think, and whatever we are able to put on stage on June 17 will be excellent and worthwhile. Whatever. We have enough now to be more than fine as it is.
But. I want to be amazing.
This show deserves to be amazing. I may not have the money to make it amazing. I need to rent lots of rehearsal space this week to work the show enough to be amazing. I don't know how I will afford that. I will find a way to afford it. I still need to stage 6 dance numbers on Monday and Tuesday. I'll get them done.
Okay, time for cafeteria lunch. The food is pretty damn good here, for all that. Lucky kids. Maybe more reports from the Connecticut Valley later . . .
