SLOWLY I TURN . . .

NIAGARA FALLS!


So, we were there at New Year's. Canadian side. A wedding -- Berit's second cousin. The wedding was December 30, so we stayed another couple of days to spend the year change at Niagara Falls.


Some photos from the time, taken by Berit's dad, Gary:




So, there we are at the Horseshoe Falls, and while Berit and I aren't exactly fashion plates or models at the best of times, this is a fairly unflattering photo (and there's a worse one*). Possibly being soaking wet (we had just walked through the massive spray), quite cold, and trying to look cheery for the camera have something to do with it.

Despite the cool, it was a pleasant afternoon/evening at The Falls. We wouldn't say the area around The Falls was exactly our bag, but it was fascinating.

As I mentioned briefly before, Berit and I concluded that the main drag going uphill (pretty much across from the American Falls) was a strange combo of Times Square, Reno, and Coney Island, and probably close to what the developers currently are working on transforming Coney Island into -- certainly not what the conceptual drawings look like, but as the real place will look after a few years wear & tear & dirt get to it.

Like Coney, your attention is drawn to a massive ferris wheel towering over everything else:




Though you may not be able to tell from the photo, this is actually CONSIDERABLY bigger than the huge Wonder Wheel at Coney.

The drag is a row of chain restaurants, t-shirt & tchotchke shops, fast food joints, corporate entertainment tie-in rides and stores (MGM, Disney, WWF, etc.), specialty "museums" (Ripley's, Guinness Book, Lego), some sad-looking wax museums (the "Hollywood" one had a terrifying Sarcophagus and Snake animatronic duo in front that would come to life and deliver unfunny one-liners in sad "Middle Eastern" accents), and other carnival style attractions.

This included three (count 'em, THREE!) haunted-house rides, one of which, we discovered ("Frankenstein's Spooky Castle!") was attached to, and tied-in with, the familiar burger purveyor next door:




I was simply stunned and confused by the sight of an immense Frankenstein's Monster, chained, holding a Whopper (I can't say "enjoying;" he didn't look all that happy). Berit provided the voice of his thoughts:


"Once . . . Ovitz take me call . . . now, me shill burger . . . [sigh] . . . Tempora! Mores!"


After drinks at a sports bar and dinner at a Ruby Tuesday, we toddled back to The Falls for the promised 9.30 pm fireworks as it started raining. The cold and wet began to really get to us, but the Falls were beautiful -- we could see both the American and Canadian sides, glowing.

Gary asked Berit and I how the lighting was being done, and we were stumped for some time -- there were no apparent light sources for the glow on the Falls (which also changed colors every few minutes). It almost looked like the lights were BEHIND the Falls, an impossible rig. We thought maybe they were below us in the ravine, where we couldn't see them, when we turned a corner . . .




. . . and there were the giant spots. An impressive throw, we had to say. Walking by closer, we got to see the color scroller units -- self-contained, each at least six foot high, one in front of each spot like a row of Kubrickian monoliths. Whoa.

We wound up walking to the car, the desire to see fireworks outweighed by the cold and damp, passing the stage where Foreigner was playing -- "Cold As Ice," appropriately. Earlier I had heard "I Want To Know What Love Is" and wondered why a Foreigner cover band would be playing at New Year's in Niagara Falls, Ontario. I got somewhat of an answer to that question, though it more importantly opened the further question of why Foreigner would be playing at New Year's in Niagara Falls, Ontario.

We got to the car, Foreigner stopped playing, and the fireworks started (of course). We rushed down to the cliff edge, the fireworks hidden mostly by spray, but by the time we got there, they were over. Five minutes tops.

So, we got out of there, and back to the B&B in Niagara-On-The-Lake.

Earlier that day, on our way to The Falls, we stopped by the Niagara Parks Butterfly Conservatory:




Which was actually quite something. Thousands of them - forty species - all around you in a tropical landscape. Many of them sitting there calmly so you could get right up to them for a good look.




And earlier, we went to downtown Niagara-On-The-Lake (home of The Shaw Festival) and puttered around the stores. One shop was full of amusing Xmas kitsch; ornaments, lights, and the like. We considered some of the novelty shaped lights -- they might have come in handy in a show sometime, but not worth getting without a specific purpose.

Many of the ornaments were of odd themes and/or materials. Why would you want THESE on your tree? A number were made out of S'mores -- that is, they featured marshmallow figures painted and dressed in the gear of various hobbies (a gambler, a hockey player, an ice fisherman), on a chocolate and graham-cracker base. This was . . . odd . . . enough, but the kicker was this:




Yup. A Nativity creche done in the medium of S'More.

The more we looked at this the more amusing it got (and no, it was not created with any kind of "knowing" humor or irony). WHO was this MADE for? Who would maybe have the aesthetic sense to find this charming or amusing honestly who would not be offended by The Marshmallow Messiah? Okay, yes, plenty, probably, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Literally! In foodstuff form!

So, Gary had to get it (it had been marked down MANY times) and I made sure he would send me a picture.

So, home by train on January 1st and back to figuring out what's next. Some things have come up. More on that soon.


**********


* conversation as Berit looked over this before posting:

B: Wait, you're linking to that even worse photo of us? I look like a troll!

I: I look worse than you.

B: Two wrongs don't make a right!

I: I think it's sweet. It's us.

B: (depressed) We're homely . . .
Good. Encouragement for our diet/exercise plan.