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Homage to The Crimson Ghost
Jan. 30th, 2007 09:28 pmSo, okay, now dig this, right?
This comes courtesy of The Carpetbagger Report, and I'd like to thank the commenter there known as "Chief Osceola" for the following lead-in to this news item:
Let's get this straight.
The current Administration's line on Global Warming is basically:
It is not happening. The scientific evidence is questionable, and is just one part of a larger discussion.
Also, if it IS happening, well, humans (and large polluting corporations) are certainly not the cause.
The Administration knows this, because they believe it very, very strongly.
However, if by some unlikely, unbelievable, incredibly outside chance there turns out to be SOME truth to it, and we need some kind of "last ditch effort" to save the planet, our Fearless Leaders have begun the necessary research towards their best idea for a solution:
GIANT SPACE MIRRORS.
No, really. Check that link to The Guardian [UK] for the full story as it stands.
Berit: "Oh, of course. Reducing emissions isn't even an option. No problem can be solved without a fat Halliburton contract."
Personally, I am reminded of an old movie serial, named for its diabolical villain, The Crimson Ghost:
"We've been tricked by cleverness!" - The Crimson Ghost
Pretty scary getup, huh? Possibly familiar from the pages of Famous Monsters magazine or as a logo for the band The Misfits. Maybe, if you haven't seen the original serial, you've seen bits of it in the film J-Men Forever, re-edited and redubbed by The Firesign Theatre's Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman.
The original serial is marred somewhat by two things (apart from being a 1940s Republic movie serial, which carries its own problems).
First, as unsettling as The Crimson Ghost's costume can be, his voice is incredibly wimpy and non-frightening (it is mainly done by I. Stanford Jolley, but is switched off between supporting cast members to keep up the suspense of who it "really" is).
Second, his plan, like those of so many evil supervillains, is a bit too complicated to be effective -- He intends, in part, to hold the USA hostage by threatening to "magnetize" the entire Southwest unless he gets what he wants (and I forget what the hell that is, money or something else). I think he has some ray or something that will make lots of metal fly around and stick to other metal all over New Mexico, Arizona, and Southern California. It's been 10 years since I saw it, and it wasn't clear then.
This ain't gonna work. Never does. And yet, the supervillains keep trying these impractical plans, doomed to failure. And somehow, still, they get a bunch of fedora-ed henchmen in suits with wide lapels and big shoulders to run around robbing banks, kidnapping ingenues, and engaging in fisticuffs with scientists (surprisingly effective fighters!), before returning to That Cave in Griffith Park to report that another plan has failed.
How do they GET these henchmen? Why would any self-respecting goon looking for work go in for this? Well, obviously, supervillains only get the STUPID henchmen.
Flunky #1: So, Dale, what's up with you?
Flunky #2: Well, Clayton, I got an offer from the Capone mob in Chicago, but I dunno . . . bootlegging, robbery . . . seems kinda run-of-the-mill. I think I'll go with The Crimson Ghost. He's gonna magnetize the entire Southwest! Now, HE thinks BIG!
Who would actually go in for this? You'd have to be a moron . . .
Crimson Ghost: Hmmmn. That jaw of yours looks pretty weak. That's going to get hit a lot.
Flunky #2: Yeah, but you can break five balsa-wood chairs across my back!
Crimson Ghost: Fine! You're in!
Flunky #2: What kind of health insurance coverage do I get?
Crimson Ghost: We'll talk about that after I've MAGNETIZED the ENTIRE Southwestern United States!
So, impractical, inefficient, short-sighted, doomed to failure. WHY again is this springing to mind?
Right. GIANT SPACE MIRRORS. Supervillains. Stupid henchmen willing to go along with ridiculous plans no matter how many times they get clocked by scientists. Uh-huh.
Oh, and the other idea being floated . . . putting reflective DUST into the atmosphere? Huh. That's good.
Berit: "Ah, simulated nuclear winter! Yeah, nothing could go horribly, disastrously wrong with THAT."
Now. If you need a dose of sophomoric-level (unintentional) humor to avoid being stunned and amazed to tears by the state of things (like the above), check out this page at Dinosaur Gardens for some fine samples from an album by Elder Marshall Taylor in which he prepares his flock for the coming Rapture.
The album title? Don't Miss The Great Snatch. Be sure to listen to at least the short samples . . .
This comes courtesy of The Carpetbagger Report, and I'd like to thank the commenter there known as "Chief Osceola" for the following lead-in to this news item:
Let's get this straight.
The current Administration's line on Global Warming is basically:
It is not happening. The scientific evidence is questionable, and is just one part of a larger discussion.
Also, if it IS happening, well, humans (and large polluting corporations) are certainly not the cause.
The Administration knows this, because they believe it very, very strongly.
However, if by some unlikely, unbelievable, incredibly outside chance there turns out to be SOME truth to it, and we need some kind of "last ditch effort" to save the planet, our Fearless Leaders have begun the necessary research towards their best idea for a solution:
GIANT SPACE MIRRORS.
No, really. Check that link to The Guardian [UK] for the full story as it stands.
Berit: "Oh, of course. Reducing emissions isn't even an option. No problem can be solved without a fat Halliburton contract."
Personally, I am reminded of an old movie serial, named for its diabolical villain, The Crimson Ghost:
"We've been tricked by cleverness!" - The Crimson Ghost
Pretty scary getup, huh? Possibly familiar from the pages of Famous Monsters magazine or as a logo for the band The Misfits. Maybe, if you haven't seen the original serial, you've seen bits of it in the film J-Men Forever, re-edited and redubbed by The Firesign Theatre's Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman.
The original serial is marred somewhat by two things (apart from being a 1940s Republic movie serial, which carries its own problems).
First, as unsettling as The Crimson Ghost's costume can be, his voice is incredibly wimpy and non-frightening (it is mainly done by I. Stanford Jolley, but is switched off between supporting cast members to keep up the suspense of who it "really" is).
Second, his plan, like those of so many evil supervillains, is a bit too complicated to be effective -- He intends, in part, to hold the USA hostage by threatening to "magnetize" the entire Southwest unless he gets what he wants (and I forget what the hell that is, money or something else). I think he has some ray or something that will make lots of metal fly around and stick to other metal all over New Mexico, Arizona, and Southern California. It's been 10 years since I saw it, and it wasn't clear then.
This ain't gonna work. Never does. And yet, the supervillains keep trying these impractical plans, doomed to failure. And somehow, still, they get a bunch of fedora-ed henchmen in suits with wide lapels and big shoulders to run around robbing banks, kidnapping ingenues, and engaging in fisticuffs with scientists (surprisingly effective fighters!), before returning to That Cave in Griffith Park to report that another plan has failed.
How do they GET these henchmen? Why would any self-respecting goon looking for work go in for this? Well, obviously, supervillains only get the STUPID henchmen.
Flunky #1: So, Dale, what's up with you?
Flunky #2: Well, Clayton, I got an offer from the Capone mob in Chicago, but I dunno . . . bootlegging, robbery . . . seems kinda run-of-the-mill. I think I'll go with The Crimson Ghost. He's gonna magnetize the entire Southwest! Now, HE thinks BIG!
Who would actually go in for this? You'd have to be a moron . . .
Crimson Ghost: Hmmmn. That jaw of yours looks pretty weak. That's going to get hit a lot.
Flunky #2: Yeah, but you can break five balsa-wood chairs across my back!
Crimson Ghost: Fine! You're in!
Flunky #2: What kind of health insurance coverage do I get?
Crimson Ghost: We'll talk about that after I've MAGNETIZED the ENTIRE Southwestern United States!
So, impractical, inefficient, short-sighted, doomed to failure. WHY again is this springing to mind?
Right. GIANT SPACE MIRRORS. Supervillains. Stupid henchmen willing to go along with ridiculous plans no matter how many times they get clocked by scientists. Uh-huh.
Oh, and the other idea being floated . . . putting reflective DUST into the atmosphere? Huh. That's good.
Berit: "Ah, simulated nuclear winter! Yeah, nothing could go horribly, disastrously wrong with THAT."
Now. If you need a dose of sophomoric-level (unintentional) humor to avoid being stunned and amazed to tears by the state of things (like the above), check out this page at Dinosaur Gardens for some fine samples from an album by Elder Marshall Taylor in which he prepares his flock for the coming Rapture.
The album title? Don't Miss The Great Snatch. Be sure to listen to at least the short samples . . .
