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Aaarrrgh!!! Bush SMASH!!!
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:25 pmWhat was I just saying about our country being led by a supervillain?
From our Department of Sociopathology, a little story about a visit by Fearless Leader to a fine industrial facility in Peoria, Illinois:
(originally by Mary Bailey in Newsweek, thanks to Majikthise and Dependable Renegade for the pointers, pictures, and additional info interpolated from other sources)
". . . heh-heh-heh . . . I gots me a crazy idear . . . oh, if only they knew . . . heh-heh-heh . . ."
Touring a Caterpillar factory in Peoria, Ill., the Commander in Chief got behind the wheel of a giant tractor and played chicken with a few wayward reporters.
Before the tour, Karl Rove chatted briefly with Caterpillar executives about whether Bush would drive one of the tractors. Rove reminded them Bush doesn't do much driving on his own these days and asked if Caterpillar's insurance was up to date.
"We figure he'll have a tendency to go to the right," quipped Tim Elder, director of corporate public affairs.
"C'n I drive it, mister?"
Wearing a pair of stylish safety glasses -- at least more stylish than most safety glasses -- Bush got a mini-tour of the factory before delivering remarks on the economy. At the end, Bush, dressed in a bright blue shirt and without a tie, did indeed climb inside a "Black Iron Machine" bulldozer. "I would suggest moving back," Bush said as he got into the cab of the massive D-10 tractor. "I'm about to crank this sucker up."
"Gonna kill me some pissants fer Jeezus!"
As the engine roared to life, White House staffers tried to steer the press corps to safety, but when the tractor lurched forward, they too were forced to scramble for safety."Get out of the way!" a news photographer yelled. "I think he might run us over!" said another. White House aides tried to herd the reporters the right way without getting run over themselves.
Even the Secret Service got involved, as one agent began yelling at reporters to get clear of the tractor. Watching the chaos below, Bush looked out the tractor's window and laughed, steering the massive machine into the spot where most of the press corps had been positioned.
"I thought you were joking," one reporter yelled to the president. He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah-HAH-hah-hah-HAH-hah! RUN, proles, RUN! I'LL show you who's THE DECIDER! Me n' muh faithful injun companion Tonto here will make y'all PAY! You WILL bow down before me, press corps! You WILL! Both YOU, and then one day, YOUR ASS! AAAARRGH!!! Army STRONG! ARMY STRONG!!!"
If I was in the press corps, I'd start being on the lookout for trap doors leading to shark-infested tanks and ejector seats in the press plane.
(okay, the last photo is actually a file photo from a few years ago, not the recent event -- guess there's a BIT of history here I hadn't been aware of - this was in 2002 when he just sat in the cab of a tractor at a John Deere factory and honked the horn and flashed the lights for several minutes -- REPEAT: For several minutes -- even I'd have fun doing that for about 10 seconds or so, but this is our President?!)
From our Department of Sociopathology, a little story about a visit by Fearless Leader to a fine industrial facility in Peoria, Illinois:
(originally by Mary Bailey in Newsweek, thanks to Majikthise and Dependable Renegade for the pointers, pictures, and additional info interpolated from other sources)
". . . heh-heh-heh . . . I gots me a crazy idear . . . oh, if only they knew . . . heh-heh-heh . . ."
Touring a Caterpillar factory in Peoria, Ill., the Commander in Chief got behind the wheel of a giant tractor and played chicken with a few wayward reporters.
Before the tour, Karl Rove chatted briefly with Caterpillar executives about whether Bush would drive one of the tractors. Rove reminded them Bush doesn't do much driving on his own these days and asked if Caterpillar's insurance was up to date.
"We figure he'll have a tendency to go to the right," quipped Tim Elder, director of corporate public affairs.
"C'n I drive it, mister?"
Wearing a pair of stylish safety glasses -- at least more stylish than most safety glasses -- Bush got a mini-tour of the factory before delivering remarks on the economy. At the end, Bush, dressed in a bright blue shirt and without a tie, did indeed climb inside a "Black Iron Machine" bulldozer. "I would suggest moving back," Bush said as he got into the cab of the massive D-10 tractor. "I'm about to crank this sucker up."
"Gonna kill me some pissants fer Jeezus!"
As the engine roared to life, White House staffers tried to steer the press corps to safety, but when the tractor lurched forward, they too were forced to scramble for safety."Get out of the way!" a news photographer yelled. "I think he might run us over!" said another. White House aides tried to herd the reporters the right way without getting run over themselves.
Even the Secret Service got involved, as one agent began yelling at reporters to get clear of the tractor. Watching the chaos below, Bush looked out the tractor's window and laughed, steering the massive machine into the spot where most of the press corps had been positioned.
"I thought you were joking," one reporter yelled to the president. He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah-HAH-hah-hah-HAH-hah! RUN, proles, RUN! I'LL show you who's THE DECIDER! Me n' muh faithful injun companion Tonto here will make y'all PAY! You WILL bow down before me, press corps! You WILL! Both YOU, and then one day, YOUR ASS! AAAARRGH!!! Army STRONG! ARMY STRONG!!!"
If I was in the press corps, I'd start being on the lookout for trap doors leading to shark-infested tanks and ejector seats in the press plane.
(okay, the last photo is actually a file photo from a few years ago, not the recent event -- guess there's a BIT of history here I hadn't been aware of - this was in 2002 when he just sat in the cab of a tractor at a John Deere factory and honked the horn and flashed the lights for several minutes -- REPEAT: For several minutes -- even I'd have fun doing that for about 10 seconds or so, but this is our President?!)
