"We Completely Understand the Public's Concern . . ."

Okay, first we started hearing about "Swarm Robotics." That is, the creation of robots that, as the name suggests, interact and are able to swarm together to accomplish a shared task. Interesting, yes.

However, a few months ago, Berit and I were a hair unnerved to read that one of the tasks that was being looked into for these robots was the ability to swarm together to hunt down human beings, for military and/or law enforcement purposes.

Okay. Now, B & I are fairly big pro-science people, but not so much that red flags don't go up when we read about the CREATION OF ROBOT TECHNOLOGY THAT CAN HUNT DOWN HUMAN BEINGS.

As in, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS THINKING?

So merciful Cthulhu help us if they combine that technology with another that is now being worked on. Here's a press release that's meant to be comforting and as a bit of damage control after some concern was expressed publicly about a new and understandably exciting (in many ways) technology coming our way (h/t to Brad DeLong, Wired, and a few other places online, all of whom have generally headlined their stories with the classic pull-quote boldfaced below):

POMPANO BEACH, Fla.– In response to rumors circulating the internet on sites such as FoxNews.com, FastCompany.com and CNET News about a “flesh eating” robot project, Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. (Pink Sheets:CYPW) and Robotic Technology Inc. (RTI) would like to set the record straight: This robot is strictly vegetarian.

On July 7, Cyclone announced that it had completed the first stage of development for a beta biomass engine system used to power RTI’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR™), a Phase II SBIR project sponsored by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), Defense Sciences Office. RTI’s EATR is an autonomous robotic platform able to perform long-range, long-endurance missions without the need for manual or conventional re-fueling.

RTI’s patent pending robotic system will be able to find, ingest and extract energy from biomass in the environment. Despite the far-reaching reports that this includes “human bodies,” the public can be assured that the engine Cyclone has developed to power the EATR runs on fuel no scarier than twigs, grass clippings and wood chips – small, plant-based items for which RTI’s robotic technology is designed to forage. Desecration of the dead is a war crime under Article 15 of the Geneva Conventions, and is certainly not something sanctioned by DARPA, Cyclone or RTI.

“We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission,” stated Harry Schoell, Cyclone’s CEO. “We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter. The commercial applications alone for this earth-friendly energy solution are enormous.”

Okay, fine, this is . . . somewhat . . . reassuring. At least it was for me until Berit pointed out what wasn't mentioned in this official press release . . .

Nowhere, NOWHERE, does it say that these robots are or will be INCAPABLE of feeding on human beings.

Now, if YOU were putting out a press release designed to assure people that your foraging, biomass-powered robots would not be feeding on living or dead animals or human beings, and if it were true that these robots couldn't actually feed on flesh, that it was indeed IMPOSSIBLE, wouldn't you feel that this was one of the ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY things to say in the press release?

And yet, this release makes no such claim or statement.

I'm stocking up on some big mother-effin' magnets.